Going Grey

I just wanted to have grey hair so bad. I mean, it looks amazing on everyone. It is so in right now. And I truly think I could pull grey hair off.

 

So I innocently made an appointment to my local hair salon. All my misadventures start with the best of intentions. How hard was it to get a hair dye?

 

Here is a picture of me before. In case you guys forgot how fantastic my hair is.

 

20150918_170222-1

I don’t know why I look so emo here

 

I brought a book and some water (which I cannot go anywhere without) and was ready for it to take about 2 hours. That was normal for the intense bleaching and then toning I was looking for. But I was willing to wait and brave chemical burns for my new found sense of style.

 

That first night we bleached my hair. And I wound up looking like Thranduil.

 

20150920_142003-1

I hate my hot elvish son

 

But my hair refused to lighten enough to go grey. The hair stylist decided to try foiling my hair. The process was fascinating. Not least because she mistakenly thought kitchenware would help where probable cancer causing chemicals did not.

 

But I wound up looking like some sort of gingery blonde. I have to admit. It was pretty cute.

 

20150920_160201-2

So happy and smiley.

 

But five days later, I returned to her chair with my book. And we bleached it again. My hair did not like the bleaching. But I really did not care. My hair would be tamed.

 

And I wound up looking like Draco Malfoy.

20150926_172828

My father will hear about this!

 

It actually looked pretty cute for a week. But it still was not grey.

 

20151003_114818-1

Doctor Who in the house!

 

So I went back a third time. I finished my novel. I was reading Gulp by Mary Roach. As an aside here, if Mary Roach is looking for a 31 year old friend that lives in Florida I am available. All her books are amazing, hilarious and informative. And Gulp is also fascinatingly gross.

 

After two more bleachings, my hair was finally light enough to go grey. In case you lost count, that’s four bleachings in two weeks. Yes, my scalp was angry. My hair still has a bit of a weird texture to it. But not even a nuclear explosion could make that shit fall out. (Though actually it could since that is one of the symptoms of radiation poisoning).

 

We both realized that the reason we struggled with my hair so much was that I had auburn hair as a kid. Apparently red heads have difficult hair to bleach. Who knew?

 

So I had grey hair for one hot minute.

20150926_184930

I dare you to tell me I don’t look fantastic here.

 

But the bleach has been working on my hair over time now and a few weeks later, I am blonde again.

 

20151025_165425-1

Me now. Making some weird face.

 

I think next time I will go back to my childhood roots and dye it red. Sorry for all the pics of myself! 

Yes, it is all about me

In case you guys don’t know, Jana over at Stop Me if I Told You This is hilarious and sweet. She also claims to think I am incredibly interesting (that word is being bandied about a lot in my life lately).

 

And she was kind enough to ask me to answer some questions for some thing she is doing and also to ask  some other people to answer them too, if they want. Unlike Jana, I am totally bossy. But participation is voluntary for my nominees too.

 

So here it is:

 

What am I working on at the moment?

 

That really depends on what you mean. Nothing is ever easy with me. I am writing for this blog and my other blog. I am writing some weirdo poetry and a shit ton of science fiction.

 

In the non-writing world, I am crafting up a storm of dinosaur jellyfish skeletons, and jewelry and lord knows what else. I also make these comic book decoupage things and have recently commissioned them to a comic book store and a hipster coffee shop/record store. And I am really excited about it!

 

Check out my Etsy link on the side to see more of my stuff. You may be wondering when I sleep as I also work 50+ hours a week. The short answer is that I don’t. I also don’t have things that the rest of you have, like children, significant others, pets, friends, etc.

 

How does my work differ from others in this genre?

 

Hmm… Well, my experiences are truly unusual and my own. Other than that, I guess I am probably not much different. Maybe not as good? Check out my commenters for some very hilarious and interesting blogs.

 

Why do I write what I do?

 

I guess I just want to share the shame of my life with others. It does feel good to get these stories out of me. And I love knowing that I am entertaining total strangers all over the world. So, that’s pretty cool. No matter how many posts I write, my list of stories to write never seems to get any shorter.

 

How does my writing process work?

 

I know we are in a judgement free zone and I can be honest about that with you guys. I have a super nerdy lapdesk that I use with my laptop. I sit on my couch and always have something playing in the background. I do a Harry Potter movie marathon and a Lord of the Rings movie marathon about once a month.

 

Don’t judge. I love those movies, the soundtracks are amazing to write to, and I don’t have to pay close attention the way I would with something I’ve never seen. Lately I have been on a real Simon Pegg kick. By the way, writing anything to any movie soundtrack makes you feel fucking epic. Try it. I highly recommend John Williams. He’s the man behind Jurassic Park, Indiana Jones, Jaws, and Star Wars.

 

There’s no real other process. I write pretty much every day. Sometimes it is crap and I delete it. Sometimes it is crap and I save it to try to fix later. Sometimes it’s good enough for what I am trying to do. And sometimes, I am so pleased with something that I want to print it out on a t-shirt and wear it around for everyone to know what I wrote. Those are the best days.

I’m going to link to some bloggers that I think really just need to get more play. No matter how much they are getting; it is not enough. Check them out, comment all up in their business, love each other, whatever.

 

More than Sweet Potatoes

 

Just Plain Ol’ Vic

 

Transplanted to the South

 

Spankalicious

 

The Tattoo Tourist



If you guys want to answer the questions; inquiring minds want to know. Otherwise, don’t worry about it. I’ll still like you all.

Seattle: Mt Rainier

This is probably going to be my last post about Seattle. More happened, but I feel like I am getting boring. So I’ll be back to my normal vaginas and vomit stories soon. But this story wants to be told. I can’t stop thinking about it.

 

My sister rented a car to drive me up to see Mt. Rainier. All the pictures in this post are my own (sadly, taken with my phone). I have never been on a mountain before. I have only ever even seen a mountain once in real life.

 

You can see Mt. Rainier from Seattle. It felt so weird, to see this giant thing looming in the background of the city. It was like a sentinel watching over us.

 

20140606_170445

Fun fact about Seattle: blackberries are everywhere you look, growing like weeds.

 

Driving up to it, I started freaking out. We took a bunch of back roads through smaller cities. It was the most beautiful day out. It was low humidity, cool weather, no clouds. Just a perfect day.

 

20140606_132028

Looks like a postcard.

 

It didn’t look real to me. It looked like it was a painted backdrop  on a movie set. My mind was having a really hard time processing this giant pile of earth. I was afraid of it. What was keep it all up there like that? Florida barely has hills, let alone mountains.

 

There were all these meadows on our drive. We opened the windows and could hear bees humming. Tiny yellow flowers were growing everywhere. And it smelled like sweetgrass and sage and lavender. I was in love with that moment of perfection.

 

20140606_113548

Just one of those perfect days you never forget…

 

I felt like I could take a deep breath for the first time in my life.  The air smelled and felt so good. It was a strange kind of high. In Florida, with the humidity and heat, it tends to feel like breathing through a warm, wet towel.

 

The closer we got to the mountain, the more I started freaking out. I could not believe it was real.  I think I said three things over and over the whole day.

 

“It looks so fake!”

 

“It looks like Lord of the Rings!”

 

“It looks painted on.”

 

We drove up and up through dark green forests of moss covered trees. It was cool and wet and everything was almost blindingly green. The road we were on was closed during the colder months.  Pollen drifted through the air like snow flakes falling.

20140606_120756

I went floating in a similar river the following day.

 

It was startling to see the look out points. The valley was so far below. The curving road seemed unimaginably dangerous. The guardrails were laughably insufficient. I was not used to being so high up.

 

20140606_135613

Yeah, one wheel slip and we would have died. Fuck those roads.

 

It was still in the 70s near the top of the mountain. We stopped when we saw snow. It was still piled high on either side of the road. I had never seen so much snow. I have only seen it twice before.

 

20140606_141225

Snow!

 

We got out of the car and in the silence of the mountain you could hear water dripping and falling in waterfalls as the snow banks melted and ran down the river. It was so loud, echoing through the distance.

 

 

20140606_140217(0)

We nearly fucking died climbing up this bank to get glasses of waterfall to drink.

 

I got out and began carefully walking through a snow drift on the side of the road. I immediately fell on my ass. I don’t know how to walk in snow. My sister got out and I scooped up a handful of snow and threw it at her. Then another at our rented car. She and I had a small snowball fight.

 

We drove further up and played some more. I found where they had cleared away snow from a public bathroom. It must have been 8 feet high still, carved out around this building. And I was still comfortable in a t-shirt and jeans.

 

20140606_123742

I really cant believe I was even there to see all this.

 

The whole day was surreal. I can still hardly believe that it all actually exists. That mountain is still there, even though I am back in Florida.

20140606_125215

It really did look like LOTR.

Tattoos

My brother T, sister J, and I had all agreed we would get matching tattoos when we were growing up. I kind of forgot about the agreement as I figured none of us would be able to agree on an image.

 

My brother went to Europe for a summer when I was 20-ish. When he came back he had a tattoo. As soon as J and I saw it, we knew it was the one. J went out and got hers immediately.

 

But I hesitated. I didn’t know where to get it, or what color. And then I was suddenly 26 and having heart surgery and taking blood thinners and was not allowed to get any tattoos.

 

So, now, I am no longer on blood thinners and not in any danger from my health issues.

 

I took a week off work this week (which has been amazing). On Wednesday, I was hanging out with my brother, T, and casually mentioned that I finally had a few days off and could go get my tattoos. I have had two planned out for over a year.

 

T told me that he had the card of a tattoo artist that only booked appointments with people that were referred by people he already worked with. We happened to be less than a mile away.

 

We met with the artist, A, who was extremely cool and friendly. And I scheduled to come back the next day.

 

I was finally going to get my first tattoo. I was so excited that the adrenaline started hurting my veins. I started feeling nauseous and couldn’t sleep Wednesday night.

 

But I got them done on Thursday. So here they are.

 

The first is a heartbeat. Not just any heartbeat. It is MY first heartbeat after my last heart surgery. It was my first ECG with a normal heartbeat. I have wanted this one for almost two years.

20140328_182634 - Copy

Love!

 

 

The second is the one that my brother and sister also have. It is an ouroboros from Fullmetal Alchemist, which is a manga TV show that my brother is really into. I like the show too. But more so, I like ouroboros. They are heavily associated with ancient mythology and alchemy. They are supposed to symbolize the cyclical nature of life.

 

How impressively  freckle-y am I? And I am not even the freckle-y one in he family!

How impressively freckle-y am I? And I am not even the freckle-y one in he family!



I am already planning my next ones. Probably Harry Potter and LOTR related.

 

I expected it to hurt a lot more than it did. I was so nervous and freaking out. I was actually shaking! I know after having heart surgery you would think it would be no big deal.

The one on my wrist at worst felt like being stung by a hornet. The one on my back actually tickled in a few places. And I love the way the vibrations from the tattoo gun were reverberating in my chest. Afterwards, it just felt warm. And now it doesn’t hurt at all.

 

Sorry for not posting something more interesting, but I am excited about them. Also, did I mention being on vacation?

19 Fictional Dudes I Love

There are a lot of lists going around right now in my blogger world. Things you hate, things you love, things that turn you on. I am kind of a list-y freak. If you ask me to make a top ten of anything, literally anything; I could in two minutes. Fruit? Zombie movies? Diseases? I’ve got it all in my head.

I was going to do a list of things I love but that would take too long. So instead I am going to talk about something else. I’m going to talk about being attracted to animated characters. Not in a serious, “furry” type of way. But if I was a cartoon character…well, here you go.

Human:

6. Cyril Figgis (from Archer): Nerd. Horn rimmed glasses. Greying at the temples. And there are plenty of implications that he is packing much more than a gun in his pants. Plus, sweater vest.

5. Marshall Lee (from Adventure Time): He’s a demon/vampire. He’s adorable. And that singing voice!

4. Li Shang (from Mulan): He’s handsome. He’s earnest. And he fell for a strong independent woman in a time when that shit was seriously looked down on, while she was in drag, no less.

3. Ralph (from Wreck-It Ralph): He’s a hairy, lumberjack type. He overcomes his bad guy nature and does the right thing. And Felix is pretty foxy too.

2. Dean (from the Iron Giant): He befriends a young boy and helps him to harbor a fugitive robot. Plus, he’s a welder and that shit is so sexy!

1. Roger (from 101 Dalmations): He is so gorgeous. He is a kind, socially awkward musician. He was a hipster before that was a thing. And he is the handsomest Disney prince.

Non-Human:

6. Sully (from Monsters Inc): His love for Boo is irresistible and charming. He is tall and crazy hairy.

5. Balto (from Balto): He is heroic. He is the underdog (no pun intended), the scrappy hobo dog that saves a town. And it is based on a true story.

4. Gil (from Finding Nemo): He’s a sexy , tough guy with a scar. Also, the accent.

3. Jake (from the Rescuer’s Down Under): He’s like the animal version of Indiana Jones. With an Australian accent.

2. Robin Hood (from the fox animated Robin Hood): Again with the heroes. I even thought he was sexy as the stork when he was in disguise.

1. Basil (from the Great Mouse Detective): He is smart and sexy. And he actually reminds me of both Roger from 101 Dalmatians and Jake from The Rescuers Down Under.

And while I am at it: Some actual human, non-animated fictional characters I have a crush on. Not the actors (though they are cute too) but the actual character.

7. Neville Longbottom (Matthew Lewis from Harry Potter): I know he is hot now, but I liked him from the beginning. He is so brave and good but not in an obnoxious Superman type of way.

6. Mister Spock (Leonard Nimoy from Star Trek): Smart and logical. I know it would never work out between us. But I can still dream. Plus, he rocks some serious eye makeup.

5. Mohinder Suresh (Sendhil Ramamurthy from Heroes): He is so earnest and always trying to do the right thing. Plus he’s a doctor.

4. Sherlock Holmes and John Watson (Benedict Cumberbatch and Martin Freeman from Sherlock): Do I need to even clarify? Smartest private detective in the world and his ex-military playboy companion. I know it’s two people, but let me have this!

*sigh*

3. Indiana Jones (Harrison Ford from Indiana Jones): Better than Han Solo. Why? The accessories. Hat, whip, satchel, glasses, bow tie. Besides, he is an adventurer and a professor.

I couldn’t decide between the two.

You’re welcome

2. Hoban “Wash” Washburne (Alan Tudyk from Firefly): You know that opening scene with him playing with plastic dinosaurs? I was sold from that point and he didn’t disappoint. Kind and caring and funny. Best character ever!

Still makes me laugh!

1.  Peregrin Took (Billy Boyd from Lord of The Rings): I would totally violate my height guidelines for him. I think hobbits are all pretty adorable. And I love how he gets into trouble all the time. Also, that hair. I kind of have a crush on the whole movie cast, but, he’s the best. Can I just marry a hobbit? Please?

*swoon*

And if nothing else have proved my true nerdiness, I believe this list has ended all doubt. I almost did one for fictional, cartoon robots but I thought that might be pushing it. Apparently more than cartoon animals.

How about you guys? Who do you have unrealistic crushes on? Please comment so I know I am not the only freak in love with fictional characters. Or attracted to cartoons.