Going Grey

I just wanted to have grey hair so bad. I mean, it looks amazing on everyone. It is so in right now. And I truly think I could pull grey hair off.

 

So I innocently made an appointment to my local hair salon. All my misadventures start with the best of intentions. How hard was it to get a hair dye?

 

Here is a picture of me before. In case you guys forgot how fantastic my hair is.

 

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I don’t know why I look so emo here

 

I brought a book and some water (which I cannot go anywhere without) and was ready for it to take about 2 hours. That was normal for the intense bleaching and then toning I was looking for. But I was willing to wait and brave chemical burns for my new found sense of style.

 

That first night we bleached my hair. And I wound up looking like Thranduil.

 

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I hate my hot elvish son

 

But my hair refused to lighten enough to go grey. The hair stylist decided to try foiling my hair. The process was fascinating. Not least because she mistakenly thought kitchenware would help where probable cancer causing chemicals did not.

 

But I wound up looking like some sort of gingery blonde. I have to admit. It was pretty cute.

 

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So happy and smiley.

 

But five days later, I returned to her chair with my book. And we bleached it again. My hair did not like the bleaching. But I really did not care. My hair would be tamed.

 

And I wound up looking like Draco Malfoy.

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My father will hear about this!

 

It actually looked pretty cute for a week. But it still was not grey.

 

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Doctor Who in the house!

 

So I went back a third time. I finished my novel. I was reading Gulp by Mary Roach. As an aside here, if Mary Roach is looking for a 31 year old friend that lives in Florida I am available. All her books are amazing, hilarious and informative. And Gulp is also fascinatingly gross.

 

After two more bleachings, my hair was finally light enough to go grey. In case you lost count, that’s four bleachings in two weeks. Yes, my scalp was angry. My hair still has a bit of a weird texture to it. But not even a nuclear explosion could make that shit fall out. (Though actually it could since that is one of the symptoms of radiation poisoning).

 

We both realized that the reason we struggled with my hair so much was that I had auburn hair as a kid. Apparently red heads have difficult hair to bleach. Who knew?

 

So I had grey hair for one hot minute.

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I dare you to tell me I don’t look fantastic here.

 

But the bleach has been working on my hair over time now and a few weeks later, I am blonde again.

 

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Me now. Making some weird face.

 

I think next time I will go back to my childhood roots and dye it red. Sorry for all the pics of myself! 

Hello World

I am back! And possibly, but likely not, better than ever. I finished my book a whole day early (a Herculean effort considering my past month). And now I am going to bore you with the details! You’re all so very lucky.

 

I chose March because I think November is a bad month what with all the vacations and family oriented holidays to distract me. Well, just the one holiday, I guess. And I don’t even spend it with my family. But you guys know what I mean.

 

It turns out March was a horrible month to pick. The world seemed against me writing this novel. The VERY first fucking day of March, my father decided he HAD to bring me a book shelf I had bought from an estate sale 3 months previously. Go figure. I’d only asked him to bring it to me a dozen times.

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Yes, that is a giant Bette Davis oil painting I rescued from being thrown in the trash. And the bookshelf.

 

The following weekend was his birthday, and despite my efforts to get out of it, I got guilted into going. And I am glad I did. Because I found out his age, which is 69. The most hilarious age. And his 70+ year old girlfriend made some incest jokes to her grandchildren. Plus I got to hang out with her daughter, S, who I simply adore. She has a great name that I cannot share. But let’s just say it would be like naming someone something like Windy Meadow.

 

Then my boss went on vacation and left me in charge despite me begging him not to. My job got so frustrating while he was away I got the closest I have ever been to quitting a job without actually quitting. And I am pretty big on quitting. Life is too short to be unhappy.

 

At some point I fell more than 10,000 words behind. It’s hard to come back from that. But I did. And with a day to spare. Want to know my secret? Manic obsessive writing for hours at a time. Overly descriptive language. And no contractions.

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Yes, V, I DID take a pic of my computer screen with my phone and then emailed it to myself. I knew you’d appreciate that.

 

In complete desperation, I found a third movie I could watch while writing. The original Star Wars series. I have to admit, I need a break from Harry Potter and Lord of the Rings after 31 days. I also attempted many many other films but most of them were not a good fit for my writing.

 

Maybe some of you are wondering how my novel turned out. Well, not great. But decent. I actually immediately deleted the last one I wrote for NaNoWriMo because I knew it wasn’t salvageable. But this one is going to be worth editing and fixing.

 

I had the idea for the plot in a dream. The dream was actually some weird thing about Pangea. But when I woke up I knew, in the way you do with dreams, that it had actually been about revenge and deicide.

 

I went through stages with the novel. I loved the plot. But after about two weeks I started to hate it. Then I started hating it less. Then I thought it might actually be decent. Then I apparently really missed being “funny” (like I clearly am on this blog)  and threw in some comedy that may or may not make the final cut. And now I think, it has good bones and is an interesting story. So there you go.

 

Also, I crafted very, very little during the past 31 days. Like, the least I ever have in my entire life. I finished the novel  late Monday evening and immediately grabbed up my crochet hook like a junkie missing a fix. I finished crocheting  a rug yesterday. I missed crafting.

 

And I am so glad to be back. I had plenty of other fun experiences to tell you guys about during the last month and I am going to Arizona on vacation next week. But most importantly, I realized how much my little WordPress community means to me. You guys are awesome. Thanks for being there for me.

 

Allergic to EVERYTHING!

I know I have not posted in a while I have been dealing with things way above my maturity level. It was like some “very powerful episode of Blossom” or some shit. As a result I wasn’t feeling very funny. But I am doing better now.

 

In my quest to visit every kind of specialist in existence, I went to see an allergist. My hives were worrying as was my constant stomach ache. I figured I could finally sort out what I was allergic to and never have to worry about my throat closing down with hives again.

 

I turns out my allergist’s husband worked with my cardiologist. My worlds were colliding! The allergist was the sweetest doctor I have ever met.

 

And I have had amazing luck with doctors ever since I told my OB/GYN she could shove it up her stupid ass when she told me I was too young to make a permanent birth control decision. Apparently, 27 is too young to NOT have kids but she had her first baby at 23. Go figure.

 

The way the chemical patch tests works is they draw all over your back with a Sharpie. It is almost unbearably ticklish. I’m not even ticklish and I was squirming and giggling. Then they put three long stickers on your back and tape you up like some modern day mummy.

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My brother, sister and I used to tickle each by making a claw with our hand on each other and saying “ticky, ticky, ticky.” It never tickled.

Once again, as with the holter monitor, you can’t bathe for 24-48 hours. It’s really not my fault I smell bad sometimes. I can’t bathe like half the time.

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Also, I had hair back then.

After 48 hours of marinating in my own funk, I went back to get things removed and resolved once and for all. I found out what I am allergic to, basically life.

 

And then the allergist decided to do a food allergy test. She thought it might help figure out why I have a stomach ache 85% of the time. Most of my family has lactose intolerance, gluten intolerance, and eat very little meat. I however, having decided I already have one foot in the grave, eat whatever the fuck I want to whenever I want to.

 

The way they do a food allergy test is to lightly scratch the inside of your forearm and then rub the scratch with various food extracts. If the scratch gets inflamed, you are allergic or sensitive to that food.

 

She scratched my arm five times. Legumes, soy, dairy, gluten and who knows what the fifth one was. I assumed corn since it is in everything in the world these days.

 

It looks like this.

She left the room for about 10 minutes and I looked at my arm, fascinated to see what was going to happen. First, the one for legumes began to get red. And inflamed. It got raised and angry looking. It was like I had a giant hive on my forearm.

 

I was really upset. I didn’t want to be allergic to legumes. Beans and peanuts are two of my favorite things. That meant no more peanut butter, or peanut butter cups, or boiled peanuts. No more black bean soup, or southwestern egg rolls, or refried bean burritos.

 

NO! I didn’t want to live in the tragic new world. I always said I was one of those people that wanted to know. I wanted the truth no matter how sad or painful it was. And now, I was regretting that decision.

 

As I sat there, settling down into a funk of delicious food deprived-ness, I saw the other scratches on my arms get inflamed. They all got swollen and red, it looked like I had gotten into some poison ivy (which I am, interestingly, not allergic to).

Now that poison ivy rash is like some kind of biological weapon nightmare. Ew.

I was stunned now. If this was true, I was allergic to everything she had tested me for. What did that mean for my life? No legumes, no dairy, no soy, no gluten, no whatever that fifth thing was. What the fuck was I going to eat? Fruit and vegetables? No way. I would rather feel shitty all the time. I would rather be dead.

 

The nurse came back in and I thrust my forearm into her kind face. I was like some deranged person on the street. Waving my arms in her unsuspecting face.

 

“Look at it! What does it mean?” It was more conspicuous than a Death Eater with the Dark Mark tattoo.

This is an admittedly cool tattoo, but I would rather align myself with Dumbledore’s Army or the Order of the Phoenix.

“Oh dear.” She responded. She sat me down.

 

“And what is this fifth thing? What else am I allergic to?!” I was getting worked up and upset. I couldn’t handle this many new health issues. I just couldn’t.

 

“It’s water.”

 

I was stunned. I was allergic to WATER?! That was the end of it. I wasn’t meant to live. Evolution had fucked up. How was I going to avoid water?

 

She laughed at the look on my face. “We use it as a control. Let me see your other arm.”

 

She took a pen lid and scratched my arm. Within five minutes it became red and inflamed, like the other side was.

 

“You have dermatographia.”

Man, I really ran with the whole Harry Potter theme here.

 

“I do?” It may not surprise some of you that I already knew what that was. “How? Why?”

 

“This proves it.” She showed me the non-test arm.

 

“Is it dangerous?”

 

“No, it just means I can’t test you for food allergies. You should keep a food journal and try the elimination diet to see what upsets your stomach.”

 

I said I would. But of course, I didn’t. I already knew what upset my stomach. Eating. Especially if I ate more than a serving or two of dairy or gluten in one day.


And instead of finding out all the foods I should avoid, I found out that I have a skin condition that I never realized I had.

Book Love

I have been looking at a tumblr site awesomepeoplereading.  And it is truly awesome. Plus, it gave me the impetus I needed to talk about something I have been putting off for a while: books.

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Note to self: Books do not make comfortable pillows.

Books changed my life. I always loved to read. I knew how before I ever started school. My mother homeschooled my older siblings and as there was no sitter, we sat in on the classes. It made the first few years of school painfully slow.

 

I was always reading a book in class instead of paying attention, a habit I kept up right through high school. I never volunteered to answer anything in class, but always knew the answer when called upon (and once the question was repeated and after they finally got my attention). I am a bit of a know it all.

 

When I was 10 we moved to a house that was literally one block from the public library. I was old enough to walk there alone. And it was free. My mother gave the library permission to give me an adult card. And I have never looked back.

A whole world of grown up books was waiting for me.

I spent that whole  summer reading, and every summer after that. I would sit on our porch in the heat and rain with a glass of water or sweet tea and a bowl of snacks. I was lost in another world of some writer’s creation. I read voraciously. I could read an entire adult novel in less than a day (I still can if I have the time to).

 

So I thought I would share some of my favorite books of all time for you. I even divided them into categories. I have a lot of favorites. These are books that are so good, I bought them after I had already read them. But this is in no way extensive. Prepare yourself:

 

Series:

Harry Potter by J.K. Rowling- These books got me through my first hospital stay. There were weeks of boredom and waiting for my blood levels to be right for my first surgery. I couldn’t walk, bathe, brush my teeth. I couldn’t even use the toilet. But when I read these books, nothing existed but the world of Harry and Hogwarts. 

 

Lord of the Rings by J.R.R. Tolkien – I actually read these for the first time this year. But I am obsessed with the books, story, and movies.

 

Sea of Trolls by Nancy Farmer- She is one of my favorite authors. This series is like  Harry Potter in the 11th century. It is riveting. This is one of those series that you wish there were dozens of instead of only three.

 

Hitchhiker’s Guide to the Galaxy by Douglas Adams- I can’t even remember the first time I read this. Probably middle school. And I thought it was some of the funniest writing I have ever read. It still is. PS: He has other books not in this series that are somehow even better.

 

A Wrinkle in Time by Madeline L’Engle- Most people don’t know there are 4 books in this series. All of them are interesting and wonderful.

Childhood Favorites:

Island of the Blue Dolphins by Scott O’Dell- This is one of the first books I can ever remember reading. It made me want to be a writer. It also is one of the most unintentionally feminist books I have ever read. It made me realize women were just as capable as men in every way.

 

The Ear, the Eye, and the Arm by Nancy Farmer- I love her so much that she gets two spots on this list. This is the first book I read by her. I loved it so much that I buy a copy every time I see one for sale. I collect them and am constantly giving them away. I think sharing a book you love with someone is one of the greatest things you can do.

 

Stone Fox by John Reynolds Gardiner- Remember reading Where the Red Ferns Grows as a kid? Did it make you cry? Not me. I loved that book, it is very good. But THIS book made me cry.

 

The Little Prince by Antoine de Saint Exupery- This book will always be treasured by me. I will probably get a tattoo of it someday. I wish the whole world would read it.

 

Sign of the Seahorse by Graeme Base- All of his books are some of the most beautifully illustrated things I have ever seen. And the stories are good too.

I love his art.

Short Stories:

I have a particular love of short stories.

 

Stephen King- He is my favorite author, but my favorite things by him will always be his short stories. All his compilations are fantastic and I think they keep getting better. ‘N’ is one that really stuck with me.

 

Ray Bradbury- He got me reading and loving short stories. I remember the first thing I ever read by him. I remember reading it and feeling like my world had changed and knowing that this would be an important memory. It was ‘All Summer in a Day.’ My favorite book of all time is an 800 page compilation of his. And that is saying something. ‘The Scythe’ has influenced me in ways I can’t describe. His writing is soft and gentle and sometimes terrible and horrifying. “The Fruit at the Bottom of the Bowl’ is very reminiscent of Edgar Allen Poe.

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My favorite book in the entire world. If those shelves behind me look like they are buckling under the weight, they are. Every shelf is double packed; with books on top of books too.

Phillip K Dick- This man is pure sci-fi. A friend recently compared my fiction to his and I felt this was the highest of compliments. ‘Second Generation’ is one story I can read over and over. I am sure you know his work. He wrote Bladerunner. And Minority Report. And Total Recall. And Paycheck. And A Scanner Darkly. I could go on…

 

Edgar Allen Poe- I doubt any of you are surprised that I adore this guy. My favorite thing by him ever is ‘The Raven.’ I know it is very well known and popular, but it deserves to be. I also love ‘The Cask of Amontillado.’

 

100 Little Series- There are about a dozen of these short story compilations. I have read most of them. My favorite two are 100 Astounding Little Alien Stories and 100 Vicious Little Vampire Stories. These books will challenge your concept of aliens and vampires in the best ways possible.

 

Scary Stories:

I read a lot of horror and suspense. They rarely affect me. But these stories have haunted me long after I moved on to the next book.

 

World War Z by Max Brooks- If you’ve seen the movie, forget it. This book is nothing like anything I have ever read before. It is in my top 5 all time favorite books. And I don’t even particularly like zombies. The story that stuck with me most was under the streets of France. That shit is haunting.

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I wanted A to read this so much that I read it aloud to him every night before bed.

Gerald’s Game by Stephen King- I have read everything by him and this was the book I couldn’t sleep after reading. The man in the moonlight just did me in.

 

Handmaid’s Tale by Margaret Atwood- This book does everything she intended it to do. The ending is so horrifying to me.

 

Prayer for the Dying by Stewart O’Nan- His writing is so beautiful, it is like reading poetry. But don’t let that fool you. This book is incredible and disturbing.

 

Flowers for Algernon by Daniel Keyes- This book chronicles one of my greatest fears. Need I say more?

 

1984 by George Orwell- I know there is some debate of 1984 vs Brave New World. But this book is scary because the people don’t even have the privacy of the inside of their own minds. It still gives me the shivers.

 

Comics:

I’m not too good to consider the writing and stories in comic books to be just as serious as any other medium.

 

SCUD by Rob Schrab- Have you read this? No? Read it! It is the best comic ever written. It is full of pure fucking awesomeness. And that’s all I will tell you.

 

Bone by Jeff Smith- It took me a minute to get over the weird creatures that are the main characters. But the story is too good to miss.

 

Hellboy by Mike Mignola- This was one of the comics that got me seriously into comics when I was younger. The stories are funny and weird and interesting.

 

Ghostopolis by Doug Ten Napel- He has several comics that I love, but this is one of the best. It has some interesting ideas about the afterlife.

 

Watchmen by Alan Moore- I think the movie did a great job adapting this, but you should read it anyway because the story is that good.

 

Uplifting Stories:

Life of Pi by Yann Martel- The movie is good, but the book is better. I laughed my ass off during several parts of it.

 

I thought my father was God- This is a series of short stories written by NPR listeners. They are all true, short, and interesting. This book is funny, sad, spiritual, interesting.

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I’m not wearing pants in any of these pictures. You’re welcome.

I am the Messenger by Markus Zusack- This is one of those stories that just sticks with you. I had to read it twice just to re-experience the book from the perspective of knowing the ending.

 

Widow for One Year by John Irving- I love everything by this man. Some of his books are depressing. But this is another one that snippets of just seem to stick with me. I find myself thinking of it during odd moments of my day.

 

Non-Fiction:

Omnivore’s Dilemma by Michael Pollan- I love two non-fiction books over any other; food and diseases. This one is about food. It is interesting and well written.

 

Why Does He Do That by Lundy Bancroft- I wish every single woman on the planet was required to read this. It’s about abusive men and their motives. It was the single most helpful thing I have read on the subject. I intend to read it once a year for the rest of my life.

 

Gift of Fear by Gavin deBecker- This is the only other book on this list that I believe should be required reading for every woman on the planet. I have bought more than 10 copies of it because I continue to give it to people that need to read it.

 

Gaining by Aimee Liu- This is about eating disorders. It is helpful to read if you have one, are recovering from one, or know someone that has one. It is about life after an eating disorder. It made me realize I wasn’t alone with my issues.

 

The Ghost Map by Steven Johnson- This book is about cholera and the father of epidemiology and anaesthesia: Jonathan Snow. He is my hero. This is one of the best books I have read about diseases and I believe I have read them all.

 

Bonk by Mary Roach- She is hilarious and amazing and everything she writes is incredible. This book is about the study of sex. She reminds me of the bloggess. Read her, love her. She has a TedTalks about orgasms that is brilliant.

 

Honorable Mention:

These are a few favorites that I didn’t know where to put.

 

Microserfs by Douglas Coupland- I love all of his books. They are weird and funny and lovely.

 

Rant by Chuck Palahniuk- His novels are great. But I am always fascinated by the things happening in the periphery of his stories.  This is my favorite because it is about rabies and time travel and I can’t even explain what else here.

 

The Pleasure of my Company by Steve Martin (yes, that Steve Martin)- This book is another that will stay with you. It is amusing and sweet.

 

Speak by Laurie Halse Anderson- This book was so hard for me to read. But all of her books can be. They are about the dark side of growing up. Not in some Christopher Pike, ‘my best friend is secretly a ghost’ way. Her books are more of a ‘I was raped or have an eating disorder’ kind of way. I own multiple copies of this book and even suffered through Kristen Stewart’s acting to watch the movie.

 

Curious Incident of the Dog in the Nighttime by Mark Haddon- My favorite plot device is the unreliable narrator. And this books nails it on so many levels.

 

Marry Him by Lori Gottlieb- I went through this phase where I read every book I could find on dating. Most of them were hilarious, terrible, or hilariously terrible. This is the one that I thought was actually sensible, logical, and helpful. I don’t suffer from the issues described in this book, but I recognized many of my friends, male and female, in it’s pages.

 

And there you have it. A, by no means, exhaustive list of some of my favorite novels. Do you think I missed something? Do you have something to recommend to me? Please do so in the comments.

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BOOKS!!

 

PS I just wrote a humongous post about books. And I had to really narrow down my favorites. None of you can leave me too long of a comment. Honestly, ever. But definitely not if we are talking books.

Yes, it is all about me

In case you guys don’t know, Jana over at Stop Me if I Told You This is hilarious and sweet. She also claims to think I am incredibly interesting (that word is being bandied about a lot in my life lately).

 

And she was kind enough to ask me to answer some questions for some thing she is doing and also to ask  some other people to answer them too, if they want. Unlike Jana, I am totally bossy. But participation is voluntary for my nominees too.

 

So here it is:

 

What am I working on at the moment?

 

That really depends on what you mean. Nothing is ever easy with me. I am writing for this blog and my other blog. I am writing some weirdo poetry and a shit ton of science fiction.

 

In the non-writing world, I am crafting up a storm of dinosaur jellyfish skeletons, and jewelry and lord knows what else. I also make these comic book decoupage things and have recently commissioned them to a comic book store and a hipster coffee shop/record store. And I am really excited about it!

 

Check out my Etsy link on the side to see more of my stuff. You may be wondering when I sleep as I also work 50+ hours a week. The short answer is that I don’t. I also don’t have things that the rest of you have, like children, significant others, pets, friends, etc.

 

How does my work differ from others in this genre?

 

Hmm… Well, my experiences are truly unusual and my own. Other than that, I guess I am probably not much different. Maybe not as good? Check out my commenters for some very hilarious and interesting blogs.

 

Why do I write what I do?

 

I guess I just want to share the shame of my life with others. It does feel good to get these stories out of me. And I love knowing that I am entertaining total strangers all over the world. So, that’s pretty cool. No matter how many posts I write, my list of stories to write never seems to get any shorter.

 

How does my writing process work?

 

I know we are in a judgement free zone and I can be honest about that with you guys. I have a super nerdy lapdesk that I use with my laptop. I sit on my couch and always have something playing in the background. I do a Harry Potter movie marathon and a Lord of the Rings movie marathon about once a month.

 

Don’t judge. I love those movies, the soundtracks are amazing to write to, and I don’t have to pay close attention the way I would with something I’ve never seen. Lately I have been on a real Simon Pegg kick. By the way, writing anything to any movie soundtrack makes you feel fucking epic. Try it. I highly recommend John Williams. He’s the man behind Jurassic Park, Indiana Jones, Jaws, and Star Wars.

 

There’s no real other process. I write pretty much every day. Sometimes it is crap and I delete it. Sometimes it is crap and I save it to try to fix later. Sometimes it’s good enough for what I am trying to do. And sometimes, I am so pleased with something that I want to print it out on a t-shirt and wear it around for everyone to know what I wrote. Those are the best days.

I’m going to link to some bloggers that I think really just need to get more play. No matter how much they are getting; it is not enough. Check them out, comment all up in their business, love each other, whatever.

 

More than Sweet Potatoes

 

Just Plain Ol’ Vic

 

Transplanted to the South

 

Spankalicious

 

The Tattoo Tourist



If you guys want to answer the questions; inquiring minds want to know. Otherwise, don’t worry about it. I’ll still like you all.

Tattoos

My brother T, sister J, and I had all agreed we would get matching tattoos when we were growing up. I kind of forgot about the agreement as I figured none of us would be able to agree on an image.

 

My brother went to Europe for a summer when I was 20-ish. When he came back he had a tattoo. As soon as J and I saw it, we knew it was the one. J went out and got hers immediately.

 

But I hesitated. I didn’t know where to get it, or what color. And then I was suddenly 26 and having heart surgery and taking blood thinners and was not allowed to get any tattoos.

 

So, now, I am no longer on blood thinners and not in any danger from my health issues.

 

I took a week off work this week (which has been amazing). On Wednesday, I was hanging out with my brother, T, and casually mentioned that I finally had a few days off and could go get my tattoos. I have had two planned out for over a year.

 

T told me that he had the card of a tattoo artist that only booked appointments with people that were referred by people he already worked with. We happened to be less than a mile away.

 

We met with the artist, A, who was extremely cool and friendly. And I scheduled to come back the next day.

 

I was finally going to get my first tattoo. I was so excited that the adrenaline started hurting my veins. I started feeling nauseous and couldn’t sleep Wednesday night.

 

But I got them done on Thursday. So here they are.

 

The first is a heartbeat. Not just any heartbeat. It is MY first heartbeat after my last heart surgery. It was my first ECG with a normal heartbeat. I have wanted this one for almost two years.

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Love!

 

 

The second is the one that my brother and sister also have. It is an ouroboros from Fullmetal Alchemist, which is a manga TV show that my brother is really into. I like the show too. But more so, I like ouroboros. They are heavily associated with ancient mythology and alchemy. They are supposed to symbolize the cyclical nature of life.

 

How impressively  freckle-y am I? And I am not even the freckle-y one in he family!

How impressively freckle-y am I? And I am not even the freckle-y one in he family!



I am already planning my next ones. Probably Harry Potter and LOTR related.

 

I expected it to hurt a lot more than it did. I was so nervous and freaking out. I was actually shaking! I know after having heart surgery you would think it would be no big deal.

The one on my wrist at worst felt like being stung by a hornet. The one on my back actually tickled in a few places. And I love the way the vibrations from the tattoo gun were reverberating in my chest. Afterwards, it just felt warm. And now it doesn’t hurt at all.

 

Sorry for not posting something more interesting, but I am excited about them. Also, did I mention being on vacation?

19 Fictional Dudes I Love

There are a lot of lists going around right now in my blogger world. Things you hate, things you love, things that turn you on. I am kind of a list-y freak. If you ask me to make a top ten of anything, literally anything; I could in two minutes. Fruit? Zombie movies? Diseases? I’ve got it all in my head.

I was going to do a list of things I love but that would take too long. So instead I am going to talk about something else. I’m going to talk about being attracted to animated characters. Not in a serious, “furry” type of way. But if I was a cartoon character…well, here you go.

Human:

6. Cyril Figgis (from Archer): Nerd. Horn rimmed glasses. Greying at the temples. And there are plenty of implications that he is packing much more than a gun in his pants. Plus, sweater vest.

5. Marshall Lee (from Adventure Time): He’s a demon/vampire. He’s adorable. And that singing voice!

4. Li Shang (from Mulan): He’s handsome. He’s earnest. And he fell for a strong independent woman in a time when that shit was seriously looked down on, while she was in drag, no less.

3. Ralph (from Wreck-It Ralph): He’s a hairy, lumberjack type. He overcomes his bad guy nature and does the right thing. And Felix is pretty foxy too.

2. Dean (from the Iron Giant): He befriends a young boy and helps him to harbor a fugitive robot. Plus, he’s a welder and that shit is so sexy!

1. Roger (from 101 Dalmations): He is so gorgeous. He is a kind, socially awkward musician. He was a hipster before that was a thing. And he is the handsomest Disney prince.

Non-Human:

6. Sully (from Monsters Inc): His love for Boo is irresistible and charming. He is tall and crazy hairy.

5. Balto (from Balto): He is heroic. He is the underdog (no pun intended), the scrappy hobo dog that saves a town. And it is based on a true story.

4. Gil (from Finding Nemo): He’s a sexy , tough guy with a scar. Also, the accent.

3. Jake (from the Rescuer’s Down Under): He’s like the animal version of Indiana Jones. With an Australian accent.

2. Robin Hood (from the fox animated Robin Hood): Again with the heroes. I even thought he was sexy as the stork when he was in disguise.

1. Basil (from the Great Mouse Detective): He is smart and sexy. And he actually reminds me of both Roger from 101 Dalmatians and Jake from The Rescuers Down Under.

And while I am at it: Some actual human, non-animated fictional characters I have a crush on. Not the actors (though they are cute too) but the actual character.

7. Neville Longbottom (Matthew Lewis from Harry Potter): I know he is hot now, but I liked him from the beginning. He is so brave and good but not in an obnoxious Superman type of way.

6. Mister Spock (Leonard Nimoy from Star Trek): Smart and logical. I know it would never work out between us. But I can still dream. Plus, he rocks some serious eye makeup.

5. Mohinder Suresh (Sendhil Ramamurthy from Heroes): He is so earnest and always trying to do the right thing. Plus he’s a doctor.

4. Sherlock Holmes and John Watson (Benedict Cumberbatch and Martin Freeman from Sherlock): Do I need to even clarify? Smartest private detective in the world and his ex-military playboy companion. I know it’s two people, but let me have this!

*sigh*

3. Indiana Jones (Harrison Ford from Indiana Jones): Better than Han Solo. Why? The accessories. Hat, whip, satchel, glasses, bow tie. Besides, he is an adventurer and a professor.

I couldn’t decide between the two.

You’re welcome

2. Hoban “Wash” Washburne (Alan Tudyk from Firefly): You know that opening scene with him playing with plastic dinosaurs? I was sold from that point and he didn’t disappoint. Kind and caring and funny. Best character ever!

Still makes me laugh!

1.  Peregrin Took (Billy Boyd from Lord of The Rings): I would totally violate my height guidelines for him. I think hobbits are all pretty adorable. And I love how he gets into trouble all the time. Also, that hair. I kind of have a crush on the whole movie cast, but, he’s the best. Can I just marry a hobbit? Please?

*swoon*

And if nothing else have proved my true nerdiness, I believe this list has ended all doubt. I almost did one for fictional, cartoon robots but I thought that might be pushing it. Apparently more than cartoon animals.

How about you guys? Who do you have unrealistic crushes on? Please comment so I know I am not the only freak in love with fictional characters. Or attracted to cartoons.