Sisterhood

Apparently, I got nominated for an award. Because that happens literally every time I leave for a while. So thank you to Ann of Ann St. Vincent fame for nominating me for The Sisterhood of the World Award. I love being a part of a (good) family, and though I have a lot of sisters, five of them actually, but I can always use more since I am only currently speaking to one of them.

Image result for sister of the world award

I guess I have to answer some questions and some of them are about sex. Sorry to everyone that knows me in real life…

 

  1. What is your favorite sexual position?

 

I am not trying to cop out here. But this completely depends on my partner’s size and shape. And I don’t just mean their penis (though it is mostly their penis size). A chubby person will be better with certain positions that a thin person. Anybody that has had a painful bony pelvis grinding into theirs or had their cervix repeatedly stabbed by a huge dick knows what I am saying.

 

  1. If you and your 10 year old self met and had a talk what would she say to you?

 

I think she’d be proud of me for making a safe space for myself and finding the strength to deal with everything I have been through and coming out happy on the other side. Also, she’d probably super impressed with my actually cute glasses, semi flattering hair, and huge boobs. None of which I ever thought I would manage to achieve. Go me!

 

  1. What is the first bit of writing you did outside of school/homework?

 

I always had diaries and notebooks full of secret stories and ideas from a very young age. My siblings and I also used to make all kinds of mean little illustrated books about each other. I am trying to find one for a blog post.

 

  1. What is your favorite song now?

 

This is too hard. Like trying to pick a favorite food. And it depends on my mood. I like Bruises by Chairlift. Band of Horses reminds me so much of going to Mt Rainier with my sister that I can barely listen to them because it makes me so melancholy, but I do all the time anyway. I love Wicked Way by Ben Taylor. Sight of the Sun by Fun. I have a lot of favorites. I also recently found two great things to masturbate to if you need some lady jams. Any Spanish guitar music and Jessica by The Allman Brothers.

 

  1. If you could tell the world just one thing what would it be?

 

One thing is a lot of pressure. But I guess this: nobody is judging you as harshly as you judge yourself. And if they are then they can fuck right off and get the hell out of your life. Seriously.

 

  1. Which period of history had the best clothing?

 

I still have my fingers crossed for the future. I’m thinking like, light up high top jet shoes, silver jumpsuits, goggles. Maybe men and women wearing each others clothes more often and without any ridicule or judgement.  But if you are making me go with the past then I choose a time when we all went naked. That was probably pretty cool.

 

  1. What makes you suddenly and disproportionately cross?

 

I mostly get cross about things worth getting cross over. But it really bothers me when people don’t mix their beverage with their food properly. I try to keep it to myself and do a pretty good job of not freaking out on someone. But I hate in old movies when people are eating meatloaf and mashed potatoes for dinner with milk. Or my dad’s girlfriend one time ordered a tuna sandwich with a coffee. That shit does NOT go together!!

 

  1. How good are you at keeping secrets?

 

Pretty good? I am really bad at knowing what is supposed to be a secret, though. You people need to tell me when things are secrets.

 

  1. Do you have a pet?

 

No. I tried to adopt a cat. It was a long haired Maine Coon and I loved her. But I guess I am allergic and I had to give her to my brother. Now I just go and stare at the animals in PetSmart like some sort of lonely, affection starved freak.

 

  1. If you could invent anything what would it be?

 

Hmmm. I really want to invent something cool. But I would invent an empathy machine. Though I think Douglas Adams had one in Hitchhiker’s Guide to the Galaxy. But damn, that needs to exist. Does that even count since I just realized it wasn’t my idea? Oh well. How about my light up high top jet shoes mentioned above?

 

And now I’m supposed to nominate some people which I just hate doing so much. It’s so much pressure. Here’s who I nominate. Feel free to not participate.

 

I nominated people that I wish I had as sisters but will happily have as friends.

 

  1. Debbie from MoreThanSweetPotatoes
  2. Leah from TransplantedtotheSouth
  3. Aussa from Hacker.Hooker.Ninja.Spy.
  4. Jana from StopMeIfIToldYouThis
  5. Sharn from Spankalicious
  6. Samara from ABuickintheLandofLexus
  7. Gunmetal Geisha

And thanks again to Ann who I would have totally nominated had she not nominated me.

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15 thoughts on “Sisterhood

  1. Milk doesn’t go with meatloaf & mashed potatoes? Never knew I was so gauche. I drink skim milk for dinner at home probably 95% of the time. If we’re dining out (as opposed to eating out which is a whole ‘nother thang), I will make an attempt to match my beer/wine with what I’m having (eg – fava beans and nice Chianti with liver), at home milk is my go to drink for dinner. To the tune of a couple gallons a week.

  2. THANK YOU. I have been in a blog panic because I didn’t post yesterday and I didn’t feel like posting today. Now I have something to write about for Thursday. You’re the best. It’d be pretty cool if you were my sister, by the way.

  3. How thrilling! I was sitting here thinking I should write a blog post, but I was not at all motivated or inspired – and now I am! It will be up later tonight or tomorrow morning – and then all of your questions shall be answered – bwah-ha-ha-ha!

  4. Ha, I didn’t even know I was nominated! So if I hadn’t read this, I would’ve never known?

    Here you go, my sister:

    1. What you said, except that I am copping out.
    2. “I’ve been waiting for you.” i know that sounds weird, but that’s what came to me. Has to do with dreams in which I would revisit my child self, I think.
    3. Grievance letters to my parents.
    4. Hm. The bizarre chime / slash harp alarm on my phone. Not kidding. My man and I were humming it independent of each other yesterday and texted one another about it. The piece is quite horrible actually, but this bit of coincidence makes it special.
    5. Chill the fuck out.
    6. The 20’s. The 20’s aesthetic wins all around for me—architecture, literature, painting…
    7. Injustice and cruelty. But then, that wouldn’t be disproportionate. So I’d have to say, loud chewing.
    8. Not very. For example, I would want to keep that fact a secret. But obviously I’m incapable.
    9. Nope. But sometimes I wake up holding my wrist tenderly like it’s a separate being from me. Does that count?
    10. A silent, self-generating hovering dust collector so that no one ever has to dust and vacuum again.

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