I gave myself a project this weekend. Because I apparently don’t have enough of those. I decided to take all my old skanky wall plates and decoupage them into something cool and cute.
The wallplates in my apartment have probably never been changed. They look like they are actually somehow older than the apartment itself. And that kind of minor thing really bothers me.
I managed to decoupage all the ones in the kitchen and bathroom with absolutely no issues. It was surprisingly easy, actually. Deceptively so.
I next removed the wall plates in the living room and dining room with no major issues. But, if you guys know me (and you do) then you know that nothing ever goes smoothly. Like ever.
I went into my bedroom and unscrewed the light switch from the wall. These wall plates were all painted on ages ago by some lazy slob that didn’t know you have to take the plates off when you paint. But a little paint barrier was no match for my trusty screwdriver.
I had used it to break the seal on several of the other wall plates. So I slid it under the wall plate and attempted to pry it up from the wall.
In that split fucking second there was a flash of beautiful light. It was the exact color of an old timey light bulb filament. And a pop. And everything in my bedroom went dark.
My heart was pounding. I knew instantly what had happened. I popped the plate off and even in the dark I could see the scorch mark. And my screwdriver was melted and black.
Now, my screwdriver wasn’t rated for an electric shock. I don’t know why I wasn’t at least shocked by it if not electrocuted. In fact, I am kind of disappointed I wasn’t shocked. I am pretty curious to know what would happen.
I see it going one of two ways. Either the electricity of even a mild shock would stop my already damaged heart and I would die. Or the shock could potentially knock me back into normal rhythm and I’d actually feel better. Like a homemade defibrillator.
Maybe next time we’ll find out. For science.
I tried resetting my breakers but that didn’t work and the power was still out in my bedroom all night. And I slept horribly. Because I literally keep three nightlights in there normally. I’m genuinely afraid of the dark and can’t sleep in that pitch blackness.
And now you guys know another one of my big secrets. I’m scared of the dark. Like a child.
But my switches all look pretty nice.