My Three Nipples (NSFW)

If you looked really closely at this picture in this post, then you are a bit of a creeper. But you also probably noticed my third nipple. I’m not really interested in posting another picture of it, so that one will have to suffice for all your third nipple-y needs.

I wish it was magical.

I was born with the thing and honestly never thought much of it. It’s not like I was going around naked for people to see it. And I didn’t start wearing a two piece bathing suit until I was 10 or so, which was more than old enough for me to be ashamed of my body in other, more debilitating ways. My third nipple was barely on my radar.

 

I hated being touched then even more than I do now. And, unlike now, that hatred extended to anyone in the medical field. I had many bad experiences with doctors and dentists growing up.

 

Nowadays, I’m just like “You want me to get naked? Okay.” And then I start taking off my clothes with the door still open. Also, they have told me to undress before and I take off everything, including my underwear. Because they don’t specify not to. I truly do not care anymore. It’s made for some awkward conversations with nurses and doctors that are confused and disturbed by my nakedness.

James Bond’s fake third nipple.

But, when I was 14 or 15, my mother took me to see our pediatrician. We’d only been seeing her for a few years and I hated her. She was rude and dismissive. She treated my body like I was an unfeeling piece of meat. Alway poking and prodding at me. She would talk to my mother about me as though I weren’t even there. And her biggest crime, was that her handshake was like a cold, limp fish.

 

We were alone in the exam room. I was always alone with doctors as my mother passes out at the sight of blood or needles (even for shots). She asked me to lift up my shirt, and I reluctantly did. Uncomfortable and embarrassed at even this basic level of undress in front of a stranger that I hated.

This is really fun! Famous third nipples!

She noticed my third nipple and with no warning, she began touching it. It is just below my left breast, and she was making me very uncomfortable. It was too close to my breast for my comfort. And she was touching me without my permission.

 

She then left the room and came back in with literally the ENTIRE staff in the building to show them my third nipple. Nobody had ever seen one in the placement that mine is in. They oohed and ahhed over me like I was a Barnum and Baileys exhibit. They all came over and also tried to touch it/me. None of them even acknowledged me as a person.

 

And I flipped the fuck out. I was a terrible advocate for myself in those days. I was an insecure, shy, sad child. But I could see no medical purpose for this and also, it was just plain rude as fuck.

Mark Wahlberg actually has three nipples! Welcome to the trip nip club!

I got up from the exam table and left with my mother. I never told her what happened as she would have been just as dismissive as the doctor. And I refused to ever go back to see her.

 

My third nipple has caused plenty of other awkward encounters for me. If I am at a water park, children stare at it and whisper to each other about it. I’ve had people try to touch it. I’ve had “friends” try to rub it for luck.

If I’d had open heart surgery Krusty and I would be third nipple/heart surgery twins.

My sister, J, wants me to pierce it. I’ve had exes try to get me to get it removed. And friends have wanted me to get it tattooed.

 

And on one memorable occasion, my brother T’s ex girlfriends* wanted me to cover it up when I was in a bathing suit around him as it was “indecent.” T jokingly suggested I start wearing an eye patch over it, which I have to admit, would be fucking cool as shit.

Like so.

I recently bought a new bathing suit that is incredibly flattering on me and covers it up completely. I am not ashamed of it. But I am annoyed by the way I am treated because of it.

 

To answer a few questions that I always get asked: No, it doesn’t have any extra nerve endings like a regular nipple. Yes, I can feel when you touch it, just like if you were touching my skin. It is smaller than my other two nipples. It is an actual nipple, not just an areola.  It probably wouldn’t lactate if I were to lactate as there are no milk ducts behind it.

In writing this story I learned several things. #1 Third nipples are significantly more common in men than women. #2 They used to be considered a sign of witch craft but are now seen as a sign of sexual prowess in some cultures (wink wink). #3 Nipple tattoos are a thing. On women. And they are beautiful and painful looking and now I kind of want one!

I seriously love this.

Feel free to ask any other questions about it in the comments. Or maybe some of you have third nipples. Please share!


*I should make a disclaimer that this ex of T’s was insane. That is not a term I use lightly. She once accused us of cheating on her. With each other. We are full siblings. What the actual fuck?

Advertisements

32 thoughts on “My Three Nipples (NSFW)

  1. I had a friend in London who had a third nipple too. He was very proud of it though. And more often than not, it made an appearance during several nights of debauchery (drinking always brought it out). I say be proud of it. It’s one of the things that make you YOU.

      • Yeah I get the whole touching thing. It’s like when you are pregnant and strangers want to pet you like you’re an animal or something. And the whole circus show at the doctors office? Really let’s traumatize a child while we are at it. If anyone did that to my kid, it would end loudly!!

      • It ended pretty loudly. It was just me throwing the fit. And my god! What is with strangers touching pregnant women and strange children? I cringe when I see it!

      • I had a stranger walk up to my daughter and rub her head, like she was some golden Buddha or something. I flipped out, “Do Not Touch MY Child”. Seriously the lengths people go to sometimes baffles me. Hello, there is a thing called personal space. I get being crammed in a subway or something, up against people with no choice in the matter. But to blatantly walk up to someone out of the blue is beyond me…still.

  2. Maybe your brother’s ex was watching too much Game of Thrones. That would totally explain the incestuous insecurities.

    As for a third nipple… that’s awesome. Not going to lie, I’d probably ask to touch it because I’ve never seen a third nipple before. Or I’d just stare and be like OMG THAT THING IS AWESOME!

    You should TOTALLY get it pierced and tattooed.

    • This was about 10 years ago. Way before Game of Thrones. She was weird.

      I’d possibly let you touch it. But I really want to get my nipples tattooed now. They look awesome.

  3. Okay, so I “creeped” a bit and looked at the picture. If you didn’t tell me it was a 3rd nipple, I would have guessed a mole.

  4. Pingback: I’m Out-Weirding Everyone | Transplanted To The South

  5. I know exactly how you felt at the doctor’s office. I once had an allergic reaction to a combination of meds for bronchitis when I was about 10. I had a HORRIBLE rash between my thighs. Like huge nasty boils. The doctor had never seen a reaction like that, so he then proceeded to have every other doctor and resident at the practice come and gape between my legs. I was utterly humiliated! Especially by the presence of the residents. They were fairly young and some of them were kind of cute.

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s