August/September Search Terms

It looks like I forgot to do this last month. And the month before. My life has been in upheaval! But I am going to make up for it now because they really do amuse me.


Sexy cartoons: This has been the single biggest search term for my blog since that post. I’m glad the internet knows me as the perv that wants to bang cartoon characters.


Handsome hairy men: This is the second biggest search term in some variation. Also something I am proud of. I need more handsome hairy men in my life and blog.


Cross stitch “I’d call you a cunt”: I am very surprised to see this (more than once). The quote you are looking for is “I’d call you a cunt but you lack both the depth and warmth.” You’re welcome.


Sexvideo.taco: There seems to be some underground subset of Mexican food related porn that I am not aware of. And they keep getting directed to my blog.


Fucking bizarre inanimate objects porn: Is that like when I have my stapler make out with my letter opener?


Penis through the wreath: This is like that dick in the box thing, right? Christmas themed penis pranks are the best.


Tiny banana bikes: I’d like one of those, please.


I put a bag of maggots in my pussy: Um…okay…why?


A roach bite my vagnia: Alright. You’ve gone too far. I want to sleep again someday.


Would a cracked tooth smell like poop: Wow. Just. Wow.


Invento Robotico Octopus 2014: I smell a sci-fi movie coming.


Take my bra out conversations: I don’t take my bra out. I take it off. I think taking it out implies showing it to people. Though I guess I did in that one post.


Fuck Okeechobee Florida: Hey! It’s not that bad down there. Too many love bugs, though.


Strawberry Shortcake Banana Seat Bike: I want this!

Fucked up mottos: My mottos aren’t fucked up. Your mottos are fucked up.

Is my tooth hollow: Maybe. And it might also have a tiny world living inside it like in Journey to the Center of the Earth.

I’m starting to just feel sorry for all the people innocently looking for porn and are instead directed to my inane profanity. I bet it really spoils the mood.


7 thoughts on “August/September Search Terms

  1. ROFLMAO…I dunno even what to say to half of these!

    At the very least I know who you are thinking of when you search for sexy hairy men.

    I almost went to a Halloween party add the cock in the box guy, just didn’t have enough time to do it right. Even found a little toy rooster to put in the box (ha…get it?!)!

    Fucked up mottos are awesome, but cannot think of any right now. Profanity too!

    • I don’t know if you read my whole page of mottos. But I have a lot of them.
      And I disagree, I am always happy to find new sexy hairy men on the internet. Though I do have my favorites.
      My default Halloween costume is Rosie the Riveter. I like to think I look like her, I like what she represents, and it isn’t “sexy” or racist (like so fucking many Halloween costumes).

  2. Once again I am green with envy over your search terms. I wrote a post about eyeball tattoos but have yet to see anything about it turn up in my search terms. Sigh. Thanks for the great cunt joke though – can’t wait to share it with my husband.

  3. thats funny,. i had to look a few of them up to see what photos i would get. When I was hosted outside of wordpress I would get all that but now wit that stat thing I can’t see my search terms. 😦 That was one of the funny things about my blog.

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