Vomiting at Disney

Living in Florida means one thing for most people. Beaches and Disney (okay, that’s two things). I’ve spent most of my life at the beach. I even lived on the beach for a year. It long ago stopped having any appeal for me.

 

My treadmill.

 

But growing up so poor, I didn’t have a lot of experiences at Disney. I went for my first time in high school. I was 15 and it was my best friend, L’s, 16th birthday present from her parents.

 

 

Not something I would choose, but it was fun.

 

I had two best friends in high school, both were girls (that’s the first time I ever had female friends, let alone two). L and K. I’m not sure how the three of us became friends. We had met in middle school in a journalism class. We actually had very little in common.

 

K was sweet and feminine. Her family was very close. They went to church twice a week and had dinner together, at a table, with no TV, every night. I spent a lot of time at her house. It was like a TV family from the 50s. In a Twilight Zone kind of way. She was one of the prettiest girls I have ever known in real life outside of my sisters.

 

Who the fuck still does this? People with something to hide, that’s who.

 

L was very tomboyish, even more so than me (if that’s possible). Her parents were the most in love people I have ever seen, even still. She was kind of a redneck-y farm girl type. She drove a dually pickup truck, listened to country, and had chickens.

 

The gas mileage on this thing must have been terrible.

 

Everyone thought L and I were dating. But we weren’t. In fact, I hear K recently married her girlfriend and is very happy. I bet all those assholes I went to school with would be shocked to find out that she was the gay one and not us.

 

But I never minded my bad reputation. And believe me when I say, it was bad. Because it only served to prepare me for the bad reputation I have at my job now. Besides, I never took being called a lesbian as an insult.

 

So L’s mom took us to Disney. Her mom was a nurse for an OB/GYN and was hilariously funny. I adored her. I used to wish one of their families would adopt me. I suspect they would have if I had ever talked about my home life. But I didn’t.

 

L’s mom had gotten fast passes for our day. We felt so cool and important, skipping the long lines of people that were waiting. As soon as we arrived at Disney, we rode the Tower of Terror. Four times in a row.

 

Pukiest ride ever.

 

You might think this was a bad idea for someone that can’t even ride in the backseat of a car without getting motion sickness. And you would be right.

 

I felt moderately nauseous the rest of the day. But I was trying to not make a fuss and enjoy my day.

 

We went on ride after ride. I had an amazing time. It was my first time on anything scarier than a ferris wheel. I’m great on rides because I am kind of a wuss and will totally scream and shriek at everything.

 

I didn’t feel well when we stopped for lunch, but tried to eat my fried chicken meal. After lunch we went on the Haunted Mansion. We were all eating popcorn. And I think that’s what really did me in.

 

I kind of love this ride. But I do love ghosts and weirdo occult-y stuff.

 

I almost lost it then and there, but managed to keep the vomit in.

 

It was getting dark out and they all wanted to go to the Country Bear Jamboree. I have no memory of this show and my mind has instead substituted Lester’s Possum Park from a Goofy Movie. (That movie still makes me laugh).

 

 

It seemed at least this annoying and cheesy.

 

I spent the entirety of that show sitting on the floor. My stomach was churning. I felt disoriented and dizzy. The bears singing was impossibly loud and obnoxious. It somehow made me feel more sick.

 

I didn’t even make it to the end. I pushed out of that room and ran over to a low fence. Where I vomited my brains out. I puked so hard I’m pretty sure there was milk from back when I was breastfeeding in there.

 

L, K, and L’s mom came over, but I waved them away. I didn’t want to ruin her birthday. Plus, I hated being touched back then even more than I do now. I didn’t want someone trying to rub my back or some shit.

 

After I had retched 10-15 times, a Disney park attendant came over with a sprite. She asked me if I could please move away and puke in the nearest trash can.

 

It turns out I was puking over the fence and directly into the Splash Mountain waterpark ride. And I was disturbing some of the guests over there with the violence of my sickness. There had been actual complaints.

 

 

Isn’t this ride based on that super racist Song of the South movie?

 

That was enough to make me laugh. And knowing I was disturbing others actually did make me feel better.

 

Once I had puked out the entire contents of my stomach, gallbladder, and, I suspect, bowels, I felt much better. You can only puke so much until your entire body has been cleansed of food, bile, and other contents.

 

I didn’t go back to an amusement park again for over 10 years. But don’t worry, I have more stories from Disney to tell.

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29 thoughts on “Vomiting at Disney

      • When I was a kid, my mother and I ate at the table and my dad ate in front of the tv. I’m convinced most meals taste better at the table, and if I spend a lot of time preparing a meal, we’re going to sit at the table and talk about it! lol
        But a bowl of chili or some sandwiches, meh, tv fare. 🙂

      • As an adult, I eat at the table a lot. Even when I am alone, which I usually am. I feel that if I put in a lot of effort for a real meal for myself, then I should sit down to music and use cloth napkins. Somebody has to be spoiling me and romancing me. And I guess that somebody is going to be me.

  1. Your being sick over the railing… Kinda gives new meaning to the name “Splash Mountain”

    Oh, and as for the Cleaver household image there? – carbon copy of the Wilson household… three meals a day, 7 days a week. TV off.

    For treats, rarely, we’d set up TV tables in the livingroom and watch Bugs Bunny and the Roadrunner. Or maybe Disney.

  2. Wow – you puked INTO Splash Mountain? That is awesome! That ride freaks me out and it does celebrate the racism of the early south (hey Briar Rabbit!). Also – Tower of Terror 4 times?! Seriously??!! I went on one of those tours and they walked us to the front of the line for priority boarding and I took one look at that thing and had to be escorted out by the special in-betweeny door that employees use. 4 times. wow.

  3. BTW, best title ever! Wow! I am always amazed at our ability to run while in the midst of the nausea, dizziness and sweatiness to deposit our vomit elsewhere. Some don’t make it, but how do we do it? Funny on vomiting even your breast-fed milk! 🙂 Looking forward to more Disney stories. 🙂

    • Thanks! I am pretty amazed too. I have vomited a lot in my life and it is almost always into a toilet or trash can. Except this this time, of course.

  4. Oh, Maurna! I don’t know why stories about vomit appeal to me so much – but they are the best. And I have to say, this one takes the regurgitated cake! I was laughing out loud at work when I got to the part about the Disney park attendant coming over to you: “Excuse me, girly – this is the “happiest place on earth” – we can’t have to barfing on the other guests!” At least she offered you a free $9 Sprite and a trashcan.

    • I have so so many vomiting stories in my life. I think there are some people out there that have never vomited and I am making up for them. You’re welcome non-vomiting strangers!

      I love how she said I was disturbing the other guests. It still makes me laugh.

  5. You disturbed the other guests with you being sick. I love the compassion we humans have for each other.

    Hilarious that you puked in Splash Mountain’s water. Hahahaha..I love it.

    So glad I found this blog through the Tattoo Tourist..so looking forward to reading more.

  6. You held that burst of digestive mush in for quite some time and multiple parks. Great job.

    I was so annoyed with Tower of Terror opening, which occurred the day after we left Florida in 1994. The ride was anticipated on my part, even though I didn’t know what I was getting into. Chickening out at the last second was probably the next step of that equation.

    One day, I’ll get back there and enjoy the hell out of Tower.

    Haunted Mansion was my #1 anticipated ride in 1992 when we went, but I had my eyes closed a lot. Silly me … the kid who read Stephen King’s IT that year called himself out on the lil ol Haunted Mansion.

  7. I’ve never been (well, that’s not true; we lived there when I was under 3 and my parents claim they took me and my brother 7 times, but I don’t remember. They probably resent me for that), but if I do go I’ll be avoiding Splash Mountain on the off chance there is lingering chunks. Barf is the grossest, yet funniest bodily function ever. I don’t know why.

    I love that you were a tom-boy. I was too. 🙂

  8. Coming from someone with a hurl phobia, I’m really glad that I read this, Beth. Thank you. I had fried chicken for dinner tonight too, which is not helping that bubble on my handy-down thing in the back of my throat clear out. Thank you.

  9. Pingback: Physical Therapy | Cursitivity

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