I’ve been away from the internet for a little while. I’ve been really busy trying to get my work finished so I could enjoy my vacation. Also, I’ve been making necklaces like crazy.
I’m going to Seattle tomorrow for a week to visit my sister, J. I could not be more excited! We are also spending a day in Portland. I may blog while I am up there, but probably not. Don’t worry, I will have lots of pictures and stories to tell when I return.
But for now, let’s look at my search terms for the month. One thing May has taught me is that there are a lot of sick perverts on the internet and Google apparently thinks I am one of them. There was a horrifyingly obscene amount of porn searches and most of them involve incest or bestiality. So much porn… *shudder*
Welp… moving right along:
Sexy cartoons: I’m impressed that more than 30 people were looking for that last month. More than one a day!
Giant rat Venice, Florida: I am really concerned about this giant rat.
The state of Florida facts: I hope you used my facts on a school report.
Strange plastic owls hanging everywhere?: I am really confused by this as I have never even mentioned my brother’s weirdo owl collection. Until now.
Handsome hairy men: There were several variations on this theme. I get it, ladies and gay men.
the weird anal of hell: I don’t know what this means, but I love it! That should be the name of a book.
slime monsters: Uh, what?
shamanic goat skull: Oh, I love you Google for directing that my way.
house sitting nightmare: The phone calls are coming from inside the house!
wound smells like rotten potato: You’re fucked!
cross stitch, if I had known how long this would take: Hahaha! Yeah, that shit takes forever.
can you masturbate after getting essure??: I like the double question marks. Like you urgently needed the answer.
what do you call a person who fucks stuffed animals and dolls: Plushophilia. You’re welcome.
why am I shaking and laughing so much: Hopefully it’s from reading my blog. Though you may have kuru. Have you been eating any human spinal cords lately?
nude men dressed as pirates on cycle: You know, I would actually like to see that too.
sexy rotten co-worker videos: I don’t know if anything rotten is sexy.
fucking throat has been sore for two weeks: Mine is at 4 weeks now. I’m probably going to die.
older sis and I used to get naked when we were home alone: Uh, no we didn’t. I have four older sisters and none of them ever got naked with me.
nude butt fucking stuffed animal: See plushophilia.
I used to do evil things to my sister’s barbies: What kind of evil? Like Santeria ritual sacrifice?
I have so many more. But I am actually too weirded out by some of the sex stuff to post it.