Shake and Vomit

This is a gem of a story. I actually had completely and utterly forgotten about this event. I don’t know how. My brother reminded me of this story yesterday and I laughed so hard I almost puked. Again.


My family is not an affectionate or loving family. We did not hug, or touch each other in any way. Like, ever. Not even when I was a child. Which is one thing that makes this story so strange.


Once when my brother and I were both in high school, we were hanging out int the kitchen together. I suspect we had just finished eating an after school snack and were cleaning the kitchen. You didn’t leave messes in my house.


Even this level of messy makes me anxious.


For some unknown reason, my brother picked me up off the ground and started shaking me. Like, shaking me up and down, the way you would shake up a soda to be a dick.


This shit is funny!


I don’t know what possessed him to shake me. And he didn’t know when I asked him why yesterday, either.


We laughed and I said, “Stop shaking me or I am going to puke!”


But I was laughing and after putting me down for a second, he picked me back up and shook me again. Still laughing, I again threatened to puke on him.


And instead of stopping, he shook me again.




Like a vodka martini.


I puked all over him. All over the kitchen. All over myself.


Two gifs, one post… Sorry.




Right then, we heard my father pull up. We surveyed the mess and looked at each other.


We started cracking up laughing. In fact, we were laughing so hard, I was crying. We knew we had to get the mess cleaned up before my father got in the door.


Just remembering the story made me laugh harder than I have in a very long time.


My brother yanked off his vomit soaked shirt and I grabbed the kitchen towel. We mopped up the pile of vomit with a speed never seen before.
We got the kitchen cleaned in record time. We threw the vomit-y clothes and towels in the washer and started the load. And my brother and I were upstairs laughing in our rooms before my father ever made it in the front  door.


31 thoughts on “Shake and Vomit

    • Oh my word. I still have stories. So many stories. But I am running out of vagina themed stories. I’ll have to set out for some new vagina adventures.

  1. What a great memory! The fact that you guys worked together to clean it up and then had that secret to laugh about, is awesome! I think my brother would have bolted and left me with the mess! 🙂

  2. I agree with Brickhouse – my brother would’ve left me high and dry! Well, not dry cuz I’d have puke on me, but you know what I mean….

    Also, some of my most side-splitting-with-laughter memories are from stuff me and my brother did. I’m laughing just thinking of some of them…..

    • That’s awesome! You should tell those stories! When we were growing up I couldn’t even eat or drink around my brother because I would choke to death laughing.

    • I’ve experienced many horrific alcohol puking stories second hand. I avoided all that by not drinking and then being all sick and heart surgeried. I recently discovered wine that I like. So, I am trying to get into it. It’s supposed to be good for the heart.

  3. Pingback: What’s The Most Embarrassing Thing That Ever Happened To You At A Wedding? | Ufo

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