Weird Things

My last post got me thinking about all the weird games I used to play with my siblings as a child or just things we used to do that I don’t do anymore (as far as you guys know). So I thought I would take some time today to talk about those weird games. I already mentioned one in this post. So yeah, that was still my favorite.

My little sister and I love black olives. In fact, I can and do eat an entire can by myself. She and I would sit down with a bowl of them and put one on each finger of both hands and eat them off.

You all know you did this.

We also used to play with lizards all the time. We would catch them and let them bite us. We would dangle them off our fingers or our ears like they were clip on earrings. One time my brother let one dangle off his tongue. Ew.

I don’t believe we ever did this, though.

We were really poor, as I believe I have mentioned a few times. We used to have two television sets. One only had audio and one only had video. They were stacked on top of each other so we could watch TV. But we would turn the two TVs to different stations and watch it carefully, like the whole Pink Floyd Dark Side of the Moon and Wizard of Oz thing. Sometimes it lined up and we would go nuts laughing. (Shut up, we were poor and easily amused).

They were pretty much this old too.

The hallway in our childhood home was long and narrow and we would climb up it to the ceiling like a spider monkey. It was awesome and amazing and made us feel like ninjas. Also, in retrospect, how the fuck did I have the body strength to ever do that?! There is no way in hell I could do that now.

I would still do this if I could.

We would bite the tip off a grape and spin it around. We would bite down hard on it and it would spray everywhere. They were like mini water pistols (which we were not allowed to have as my parents didn’t support children playing with guns).

And, yes, I am obnoxious with a fake gun now. Like, really obnoxious.

We would climb into the dumpster recycling bin and steal cardboard boxes. We would break the boxes down and use them to slide down the hill by the bridge near our house. It was super fun.

We would spin around in circles until we got so dizzy we would fall down. Or, better yet, we would have the boyfriend of one of our older sisters grab our hands and swing us around and around like it was a human discuss throw.

Probably very dangerous.

My little sister and I played with Barbies. And there is probably enough material there for a completely separate post. So I think I’ll save those stories for that.

The few days a year it was cold enough to see our breath we would walk around pretending to smoke. I would even get candy cigarettes to add to the effect.

One day it hailed so much that we went down to the retention pond and scooped up handfuls of ice. Then we got into a hail fight. It hurt.

My brother and I would have contests to see who could tie a cherry stem in a knot with our tongues the fastest. Which is actually a pretty weird thing to do with him.

We would lie down and put our head on each other’s stomachs. Sometimes for hours. And we would listen to the weird noises our stomach’s made.

My parents would buy water in these weird rectangular 3.5 gallon jugs. When we were really thirsty and didn’t have time/desire to pour it into a cup we would twist the spout and drink out of it. It was fun and messy (which is also fun when you are a kid).

Also, if you pull the spout out completely it is flesh colored and looks like a little penis.

We also didn’t have A/C growing up. In the summer it was unbearable trying to sleep. 90 degrees, 90% humidity, and the crickets were deafening because we had to keep the windows open to avoid death by suffocation.

We had a box fan in our room to help with these heat. It really just blew hot air around so it was more of a poor people’s white noise machine. But we used to attach our top sheet to it and hang out in the sheet fort. It was actually amazingly fun.

Shockingly, not invented by us, according to this picture.

Also, once I got A/C it took several years to get used to sleeping without the noise of a fan.

And this is the last thing I am going to mention. We used to play this human crane machine game with a stuffed football of my brother’s. We would pretend to press buttons (on the football) and one of us would be the crane. We would reach down into a pile of toys and grab them. If we were mad at each other we would make the crane drop the stuffed animal.

So, there are some much weirder (like really fucking weird) things that I don’t really feel comfortable sharing here. And now I am curious: What weird things did you guys do as kids?


20 thoughts on “Weird Things

  1. When I was a kid, almost everything I owned was a hand-me down from some one else’s kids. At one point, I was given five Barbies, one of which had been given a short hair cut and another of which seemed to have gotten some marker tattoos on her face and parts of her body. I suppose I don’t need to say, I wasn’t altogether interested in them and, so, they fell into the hands of my brothers who utterly destroyed them.

    • Haha! Yeah, I’ve been there. If you look at pictures of us as kids, you’ll see my brother wearing a shirt, then me, then my little sister. Hand-me downs all the way.

  2. I don’t even know how to say this without sounding like a serial killer in training but my best friend Peeves and I used to take her (thousands of) beanie babies and pretend we owned a pet shop called “All Pets”– but we were these crazy evil owners and our slogan was “sorry, no refunds!” and the pets always died and we kept them in horrible conditions. I truly have NO IDEA why this was fun for us. We are both kind, non-animal-torturing adults for the most part now. Promise.

    • A real serial killer would have done that to real animals. What I am imagining the two of you doing is actually adorable.

      And I am really, really into diseases. And was from an extremely young ago (which freaks people out). My mother would read my fiction growing up and I would get into so much trouble. It was really twisted horror stuff. Lots of bizarre murders and weirdo sci-fi. I still write a lot of fiction and it never got any less bizarre. But I’ve stopped letting her read it.

  3. I Love your stories! It sounds like a wonderful childhood! I grew up before AC, but never thought of making a sheet fort!
    We used to build snow forts and held carnivals in the summer. One time I thought it would be really fun to put on a play for the neighborhood. It was a disaster!
    Thanks for bringing it to the party! It’s never too late to click on a few links!

    • We had AC, we were just too poor to use it. And I wish I had ever had a snow fort. I was so jealous of kids that got to play in the snow. Snow forts, snowball fights, snowmen, snow angels, sledding. So jealous!

      • We had the extreme heat and humidity and the frigid cold winters back in Wisconsin. Now I live in Colorado where the weather is much milder. Most of the snow stays in the mountains!

  4. Actually, I or my friends used to do most of that stuff. Once I let a lizard bite my finger or ear (can’t remember which) because my friends kept doing it. Oh. Hell. No. I freaked out cuz holy crap that hurt!

  5. I remember eating a lot of weird stuff as a kid. Frozen french fries (with ketchup, natch), frozen mini donuts, Fresca ice cubes. And it wasn’t just frozen stuff – I also had a weird fixation with eating match heads. And paper napkins. Now I’m wondering if my parents ever bothered to feed me, or if they just made me forage.

    • Oh. My. God. Match heads?! That’s potentially dangerous, right? I need to look into that.
      But now that you mention it; I remember being really weirdly into eating paper straw wrappers.

  6. Pingback: Shooting | Cursitivity

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