Glinda the good witch is a total asshole. First she asks if Dorothy is a good witch or a bad witch and then says only bad witches are ugly. So, what the fuck, Glinda? You can’t tell if Dorothy is good or bad based on her appearance? I’m pretty sure that’s how two-faced pretty girls passive aggressively tell you they think you’re ugly.


Then she decides to not tell Dorothy that the ruby slippers will take her home, no need to risk your life with all that shit that happens. And yet, she is still supposed to be the good witch.


At least the wicked witch had a reason  to hate her.  Dorothy fucking killed her sister.  I’d be pissed off too.  And maybe the wicked witch didn’t even like her sister. Maybe she was just pissed about the shoes. So what?  I don’t like most of my sister’s either. But I don’t want them to be dead. And I would feel entitled to their shoes, more so than some total stranger that accidentally killed her.

And that’s why bitch and witch rhyme. The same reason anything else rhymes. Because the English language is idiotic and arbitrary.


3 thoughts on “Witches…

  1. Haha this is so random and great. Have you seen/heard of the musical “Wicked?” It totally spins on this whole premise you’ve set up– Glinda the good witch is a total biatch. You’re right.

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